What Is Your Challenge?

Welcome another year!

Why do most New Year's Resolutions fail? By now, many New Years resolutions would be thrown out, forgotten, shrugged off. There is always next year.

Why do they fail? Perhaps, because theseBy now, many New Years resolutions would be thrown out, forgotten, shrugged off. There is always next year.

Diet? Lose weight? Cut down on the use of credit cards? Be more prompt with bill payments? Cut down on shopping. Read more, pursue that elusive dream, whatever that is. Be a better partner, parent, friend and employer or employee. This is a common one: Exercise!. Meditate.

Time is passing by, welcome to 365 days of procrastination. Time to change your strategy. Yes, life entails strategies, planning,action and implementation.

But, build it one step at a time.

Think of the company you work for. They have a business plan, a budget; they make sure they have the resources needed, financial, time and human . They assess their position on schedule. They implement, they act decisively when it matters.

This is their challenge in order to succeed.

So, what is your challenge?

Replace the worn out resolutions that you make year year.The words lost their essence, their meaning long ago. Re-think, plan a strategy to meet your challenge. Make it worth your while.

In a nutshell, are these pursuits challenging ?

Healthy lifestyle:

1. good , healthy nutritious food

2. healthy portions of food

3. balance work, family and recreation, each area gets a time of their own

4. exercise choose what is best for you, a lot to choose from

5. time for yourself- discover, nurture and listen to your inner self
Financial Health

1. budget- a well planned budget

2. outline major expenses for the year- car, house repairs, travel

3. analysis of spending habits- what you need and what you want

4. pay down debt- mortgage, credit cards

5. no matter what age group- a nest egg /retirement/emergency funds

Try a 21-day challenge.

This is not an original idea. But studies show that if you try your best for 21 days, it eventually results in developing a healthy habit. A forum I'm on has this 21-day challenge. It turns participants into doers. That's what you need to become- a doer.

Take it one challenge at a time. What is important to you? Diet, weight loss?

Challenge yourself to adopt a healthier eating habit. If fast food and take-out food is your style, there are healthy choices in this area. BUT-is cooking such an aversion and bother that the convenience of take-out or frozen meals are so tempting. There are benefits to cooking. You can choose, experiment and be creative. It's actually a rewarding endeavour. Surprise yourself.

You love food, eat very healthy portions, you never feel full. More food is good for you. OK- think aboout this seriously.

Vegetables. Yuk. What wants them? Think again. You do!!! Get the idea?

Try this for 21 days. Focus on this challenge,with dedication and enthusiasm.Do it! If you succeed, your 21 days would act as your spring board to the next challenge .

One challenge at a time, you can build it up to eventually meeting all those New Years Resolution you've dropped by the wayside.

We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations

Think of a conversation you've been putting off. Got it? Great. Then let's go.

There are dozens of books on the topic of difficult, crucial, challenging, important (you get the idea) conversations (I list several at the end of this article). Those times when you know you should talk to someone, but you don't. Maybe you've tried and it went badly. Or maybe you fear that talking will only make the situation worse. Still, there's a feeling of being stuck, and you'd like to free up that stuck energy for more useful purposes.

What you have here is a brief synopsis of best practice strategies: a checklist of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some useful concepts to practice during the conversation; and some tips and suggestions to help your energy stay focused and flowing, including possible conversation openings.

You'll notice one key theme throughout: you have more power than you think.


Working on Yourself: How To Prepare for the Conversation

Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions:

1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome?
Watch for hidden purposes. You may think you have honorable goals, like educating an employee or increasing connection with your teen, only to notice that your language is excessively critical or condescending. You think you want to support, but you end up punishing. Some purposes are more useful than others. Work on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose.

2. What assumptions are you making about this person's intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent.

3. What "buttons" of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your "backstory," as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but you'll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you.

4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try to adjust your attitude for maximum effectiveness.

5. Who is the opponent? What might he be thinking about this situation? Is he aware of the problem? If so, how do you think he perceives it? What are his needs and fears? What solution do you think he would suggest? Begin to reframe the opponent as partner.

6. What are your needs and fears? Are there any common concerns? Could there be?

7. How have you contributed to the problem? How has the other person?


4 Steps to a Successful Outcome

The majority of the work in any conflict conversation is work you do on yourself. No matter how well the conversation begins, you'll need to stay in charge of yourself, your purpose and your emotional energy. Breathe, center, and continue to notice when you become off center–and choose to return again. This is where your power lies. By choosing the calm, centered state, you'll help your opponent/partner to be more centered, too. Centering is not a step; centering is how you are as you take the steps. (For more on Centering, see the Resource section at the end of the article.)

Step #1: Inquiry
Cultivate an attitude of discovery and curiosity. Pretend you don't know anything (you really don't), and try to learn as much as possible about your opponent/partner and his point of view. Pretend you're entertaining a visitor from another planet, and find out how things look on that planet, how certain events affect the other person, and what the values and priorities are there.

If your partner really was from another planet, you'd be watching his body language and listening for unspoken energy as well. Do that here. What does he really want? What is he not saying?

Let your partner talk until he is finished. Don't interrupt except to acknowledge. Whatever you hear, don't take it personally. It's not really about you. Try to learn as much as you can in this phase of the conversation. You'll get your turn, but don't rush things.

Step #2: Acknowledgment
Acknowledgment means showing that you've heard and understood. Try to understand the other person so well you can make his argument for him. Then do it. Explain back to him what you think he's really going for. Guess at his hopes and honor his position. He will not change unless he sees that you see where he stands. Then he might. No guarantees.
Acknowledge whatever you can, including your own defensiveness if it comes up. It's fine; it just is. You can decide later how to address it. For example, in an argument with a friend, I said: "I notice I'm becoming defensive, and I think it's because your voice just got louder and sounded angry. I just want to talk about this topic. I'm not trying to persuade you in either direction." The acknowledgment helped him (and me) to re-center.

Acknowledgment can be difficult if we associate it with agreement. Keep them separate. My saying, "this sounds really important to you," doesn't mean I'm going to go along with your decision.

Step #3: Advocacy
When you sense your opponent/partner has expressed all his energy on the topic, it's your turn. What can you see from your perspective that he's missed? Help clarify your position without minimizing his. For example: "From what you've told me, I can see how you came to the conclusion that I'm not a team player. And I think I am. When I introduce problems with a project, I'm thinking about its long-term success. I don't mean to be a critic, though perhaps I sound like one. Maybe we can talk about how to address these issues so that my intention is clear."

Step #4: Problem-Solving
Now you're ready to begin building solutions. Brainstorming and continued inquiry are useful here. Ask your opponent/partner what he thinks might work. Whatever he says, find something you like and build on it. If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to inquiry. Asking for the other's point of view usually creates safety and encourages him to engage. If you've been successful in centering, adjusting your attitude, and engaging with inquiry and useful purpose, building sustainable solutions will be easy.


Practice, Practice, Practice

The art of conversation is like any art–with continued practice you acquire skill and ease. Here are some additional hints:

Tips and Suggestions:

• A successful outcome will depend on two things: how you are and what you say. How you are (centered, supportive, curious, problem-solving) will greatly influence what you say.

• Acknowledge emotional energy–yours and your partner's–and direct it toward a useful purpose.

• Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.

• Don't take verbal attacks personally. Help your opponent/partner come back to center.

• Don't assume your opponent/partner can see things from your point of view.

• Practice the conversation with a friend before holding the real one.

• Mentally practice the conversation. See various possibilities and visualize yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you are hoping for.


How Do I Begin?

In my workshops, a common question is How do I begin the conversation? Here are a few conversation openers I've picked up over the years–and used many times!


• I have something I'd like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.

• I'd like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I'd like to get your point of view.

• I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?

• I need your help with something. Can we talk about it (soon)? If the person says, "Sure, let me get back to you," follow up with him.

• I think we have different perceptions about _____________________. I'd like to hear your thinking on this.

• I'd like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different ideas about how to _____________________.

• I'd like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.

Write a possible opening for your conversation here:

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Good luck! Let me know if this article has been useful by contacting me at http://www.judyringer.com

Resources

The Magic of Conflict, by Thomas F. Crum (www.aikiworks.com)
Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (www.triadcgi.com)
Crucial Conversations, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler (www.crucialconversations.com)
FAQ about Conflict, by Judy Ringer http://www.JudyRinger.com

Prosperity, Step-by-Step

Some may think that the change from paucity or 'the norm' to abundant prosperity is a mysterious and miraculous leap brought on by fate or fortune. It is not. It is, in 99% of the cases, a step-by-step and conscious following of an envisioned and intentional path; it is a proven formula.

The formula is repeated on almost every page of the Prosperity Paradigm Website. It is stated simply as Purpose + Passion + Persistence = Prosperity. It may sound simple. It may even, for most, be something too simple to seem real. It is, however, the path that all those who achieve the prosperity they dream and desire, walk step-by-step.

The lover of math in me likes to define it as 3p=P.

If you critically examine the lives of most people, you will see that they wander through life without (a defined) purpose. It is the rare individual who can tell you in a short paragraph immediately when asked, What is the purpose of your life? Even amongst those who can answer, the response most give is usually some vague and hollow repetition of some assumed or inherited survival, societal or spiritual meme. It is meaningless drivel.

It is the truly rare and almost inevitably successful and happy individual who will be able to state succinctly and definitely what the real and tangible purpose of their life is. Their defined purpose may not seem all that important to you. That matters not a whit. It only matters to that person that it has value; more, that it has an all-consuming importance.

If you do not know what your real (self-assigned) purpose is, then the first and most critical step on your path to real and lasting prosperity (and happiness) is to define your purpose. Only you can do that for yourself. Any purpose assigned to your by parents, peers or societal expectations is false. It will not, therefore, bear the fruit you desire success and fulfillment, i.e. prosperity, which is the having of an abundance of ALL things held ideal in mind and dear in heart.

It may take some critical self-examination and a great deal of personal honesty to arrive at a real, defined sense of purpose for your life. So what? What else are you doing with your life? Are you tired of being just average or unhappy; weary of merely surviving?

Figure out with what purpose you journey through these few short years on planet earth. It is step one in your quest for having a meaningful and purposeful life. You, and only you, must decide and define your purpose. Then go about living your each and every day to fulfill that purpose. It is aptly called being on purpose.
Ah, passion. How we soar when we have it! Remember falling in love and lusting after being with that one truly special person? Passion! How wondrous! How consuming! How addictive! How enlivening! How intense! How fulfilling! How passionate!

The next step in your path to real and lasting prosperity is to become PASSIONATE about your purpose and your moment-by-moment existence.

It is often called a lust for life, but it is more than that. It is a lust for the self-decided purpose of your life, AND, it is an immense gratitude for being blessed with being able to pursue that purpose.

Get passionate or stay home. Without passion, life is mediocre. You have already learned that lesson, even if you deny or forget it in order to tolerate some normality or compromise. you have made to get through each day without passion.

Now, here is the tough part for many, many people life will throw you curves, put up road blocks, appear to resist your journey and generally test your resolve. The majority will take these 'obstacles' as proof that they are mistaken in their choice of purpose and passion or that they were not destined to have the level of prosperity they desire. Those who take these 'messages' as lessons or as opportunities to garner more strength will be the ones who succeed. Persistence pays dividends. Huge dividends. Invest in a little persistence.

Although I would like to find a way to say it better, there is no greater quote than that spoken by Calvin Coolidge, "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

So there we have it. The simply stated, but not so simply applied, formula for achieving the prosperity you desire 3p=P.

So now you know. The only thing holding you back from having your heart's desire is your lack of application of this one formula.

It is your choice. You are totally free to choose a purpose for your life (or not). You are totally free to become passionate about life and your purpose (or not). You are totally free to desist (give up/compromise/take the easy way out) or persist.

Prosperity is a matter of choice, not chance.

Hustle While You Wait

Everything comes to those who hustle while they wait -Thomas Edison

Thomas A. Edison was one of the most prolific inventors of all time. His inventions continue to shape our daily lives decades after his death in 1931. He fundamentally changed our lives by giving us indoor lighting, records, movies, batteries, and hundreds of other objects we have come to believe we can't live without. He patented over 1,000 objects during his life. His advice to "hustle" while you wait gives us some insight into how he became a legend.

Many people who dream of changing their lives are in a "waiting" time in their lives. For financial or personal reasons they are not yet able to leave their current jobs, move to their preferred geographical area, or start that business they dream of. During these waiting times you can do much to lay the foundation for your dreams. Here are some ideas that can get you started as you begin to move towards a life you compose rather than one you fell into:

*Research your dream job or business. Learn all that you can about it. You can easily become an expert about any topic in 3-6 months. Read, search the web, interview people who already work in the field, and do all that you can to learn about the history, trends and topics that are important in your field. When the time comes to move forward, you will have a solid knowledge base.

*Develop your network. Meet others who are in your chosen field. Nothing leads to success faster than having a solid support network in place. Don't fear competition, just meet as many people as you can in that field. This networking will help you understand what it takes to succeed and give you the support you need to make those first steps. Nothing increases learning faster than having a mentor who can show you the way. You will increase your confidence and your learning pace, and you may even get "lucky" and find a job or your first client.
*Lay the groundwork. Write your business plan. Draft a press release. Outline your book. Learn how to design web pages. Any progress is movement forward and that momentum can help propel you towards the life of your dreams. As you develop skills and create the platform for your new life, new ideas and opportunities will come your way.

No matter where you are in developing the life of your dreams, you can "hustle" while you wait. Even if you have no idea what you want yet, you can create a foundation that will support your new life. No effort is wasted. The skills and knowledge you gain will fit into your new life in some way.

As I searched for my dream and mission I researched dozens of topics. I am consistently amazed at how many of those "dead ends" have helped me to develop my current business. Learning how to edit, write copy, design web pages, research, and even cook have all helped me to build a stronger foundation for my roles as a life coach and infertility coach. Don't wait for the perfect time to arrive, begin today to move forward and the universe will meet you with more opportunities than you can now imagine. 

Always Set Yourself Targets And Work Hard To Achieve Them

Selalu Tetapkan Target Diri Dan Bekerja Keras Untuk Mencapai nya

I was always told by parents to always work towards a future goalor target and to ensure that you reached that goal. This they told me would make me a success in life. This article describes about the importance of having a goal in life.

Aku selalu diberitahu oleh orang tua untuk selalu bekerja menuju tujuanmasa depan atau target dan untuk memastikan bahwa Anda mencapaitujuan tersebut. Ini mereka mengatakan kepada saya akan membuatsaya sukses dalam hidup. Artikel ini menjelaskan tentang pentingnyamemiliki tujuan dalam hidup.

I read many books and I recently read a book that described the importance of having a goal in life. In the books example, a survey had been carried out at a school. The people surveyed were students who had recently taken their final exams. They were asked to answer various questions, one of which asked, where would you like to be in five years time?

Saya membaca banyak buku dan saya baru-baru ini membacasebuah buku yang menggambarkan pentingnya memiliki tujuan dalamhidup. Dalam contoh buku-buku, sebuah survei telah dilaksanakan disekolah. Orang-orang yang disurvei adalah mahasiswa yang baru saja mengambil ujian akhir mereka. Mereka diminta untuk menjawabberbagai pertanyaan, salah satunya bertanya, di mana Anda inginberada dalam waktu lima tahun?

Looking back I am sure that if you had asked me that question, when I was sixteen, I would have had to put down, that I had no idea, as it was not something I had ever had thought about, despite my parents advice to set targets. I wanted to be a snooker player when in reality I had no chance of making the grade.

Melihat kembali Saya yakin bahwa jika Anda telah meminta saya bahwa pertanyaan, ketika saya enam belas, saya harus meletakkan,bahwa aku tidak tahu, karena itu bukan sesuatu yang saya pernahberpikir tentang, meskipun saran orang tua saya untuk menetapkantarget. Aku ingin menjadi pemain snooker ketika pada kenyataannya saya tidak memiliki kesempatan untuk membuat grade.

The people who carried out the survey reported that only five percent of the answers were accepted as having a goal. Five years later, the students were tracked down and the five percent of people who had had a goal, when their net asset worth's were added together, the total amount was higher than all of the other peoples added together. Now of course money is not everything in life, however to me this shows that people who have a goal in life are more likely to be more successful than people who haven't.

Orang-orang yang melakukan survei melaporkan bahwa hanya limapersen dari jawaban yang diterima memiliki tujuan. Lima tahunkemudian, para mahasiswa melacak dan lima persen orang yangpunya tujuan, ketika nilai aktiva bersih mereka ditambahkan bersama-sama, jumlah total lebih tinggi dari semua bangsa lainnya yang ditambahkan bersama-sama. Sekarang tentu saja uang bukanlahsegalanya dalam hidup, namun bagi saya ini menunjukkan bahwaorang yang memiliki tujuan dalam hidup lebih cenderung lebih berhasildibandingkan orang yang belum ..

I then looked at my life I was twenty two and had a net asset worth of zero! I had been working for six years and had nothing to show for it. I then started to think about the future and started setting some of my own goals.

Saya kemudian melihat hidup saya, saya 22 dan memiliki nilai aktivabersih dari nol! Saya telah bekerja selama enam tahun dan tak adauntuk menunjukkan untuk itu. Saya kemudian mulai berpikir tentangmasa depan dan mulai menetapkan beberapa tujuan sendiri .

This has helped me in a very big way, to purchase for example my first house.

Hal ini telah membantu saya dalam cara yang sangat besar, misalnyauntuk membeli rumah pertama saya.