At about the same time I started to think about building an Internet website, I considered my personal strengths and resources. It occurred to me that it might be a good idea to make a list of all the things I have in my life, as well as the things I have learned and skills I can use. This could help me come up with new directions for my personal development. After I've started writing these things down, I decided to call it "Power Maps" as they outline my sources of power, and could also show me ways to turn my strengths into more powerful actions. In this brief article I will try to demonstrate how I do this, hoping you can do the same. I use my own Power Map as an example, so you also get a chance to know me better...
I began by writing down the major categories of things I do and am related to. Here is what I came up with:

• Family & Friends
• Places I know
• My Studies & Work
• Languages
• My Hobbies & Pastimes

Try to make your own list now. It doesn't have to be similar to the one I made or even have the same logic or structure. Just try to think of the major things that make up the person that you are.
Next, I added more details to each major category - ending up with many of the things I consider to be my sources of power and knowledge. This is what it looked like by now:

• Family & Friends
  
  • My wife
  • My children
  • My mother, sisters & brother
  • My friends
• Places I know
  
  • Israel
  • Europe
  • South America
    
    • Argentina
    • Chile
    • Peru
    • Bolivia
    • Brazil
  • South East Asia
    
    • India
    • Nepal
    • Thailand
• My Studies & Work
  
  • Human Resources
  • Management skills training
  • Thinking, Innovation & Creativity
  • Philosophy
  • Computers
    
    • Web programming
    • Database planning
    • Online & computer games
  • Myself as an employee
• Languages
  
  • Hebrew
  • English
  • Spanish
• My Hobbies and Pastimes
  
  • Capoeira
  • Diving
  • Board games

Seeing all that I have in my favor, I already started to feel stronger!
If you want to get the same feeling - take a few minutes to list many of your own sources of power.

Turning power maps into creative action

Now it was time to start thinking how I could turn all those resources into something I could make or contribute. In other words - come up with new and useful things I could do with all I have. What I came up with was consisted of things I did before and could do better or on a larger scale; things I haven't done before but believed I could do; and some other creative ideas that just came up.
In order to distinguish these action ideas from the resources I already listed, I use an undeline for the action items. I am sharing some of these with you:

• Family & Friends
  
  • My wife
    
    • Help your wife pursue her dream
  • My children
    
    • Write children's books
  • My mother, sisters & brother
  • My friends
• Places I know
  
  • Israel
    
    • Knowing what it's all about
  • Europe
  • South America
    
    • Argentina
    • Chile
    • Peru
    • Bolivia
    • Brazil
  • South East Asia
    
    • India
    • Nepal
    • Thailand
• My Studies & Work
  
  • Human Resources
  • Management skills training
    
    • Tools for planning
    • Small Business Handbook
  • Thinking, Innovation & Creativity
    
    • Improved Memory Techniques
    • Building a Personal Thinking Center
  • Philosophy
  • Computers
    
    • Web programming
    • Database planning
    • Online & computer games
      
      • Principles of development
      • Review best games on the web
  • Myself as an employee
• Languages
  
  • Hebrew
  • English
    
    • Translation tips
  • Spanish
    
    • Learning tips
• My Hobbies and Pastimes
  
  • Capoeira
  • Diving
  • Board games
    
    • Playing tips
    • Designing & Inventing

Now I had something I could work with. There were other things on the list - this is just to show you the general idea. I am sure that if you try to complete your own Power Map now - you'd have many action ideas.

Bringing it all together

With such a detailed Power Map, you can start looking for practical ways to harness all that power to interesting development possibilities. The strongest creative ideas would be those that combine as many strengths and action items as possible. Consider the creative ideas website I have built (see resource box below) - it combines my power at: English, Internet, Creativity, Management training, and more.

I truly hope this can help you become stronger, more creative, and ultimately happier. If you liked this article and the Power Map tool, you should check out the Resource Box Below for a constantly growing source of ideas and creativity tools. 


words:
considered          : di anggap
it occurred to me : terpikir oleh ku
i have learned      : yang telah saya pelajari
after i've              : setelah aku
turn                     : mengubah
distinguish            : membedakan
resources            : sumber daya

Happiness: The Ultimate Birthright

The key to happiness is both simple and complex. It is the sum total of more than 2,000 years of philosophy, psychology, speculation, and discussion about the meanings and sources of happiness. From Aristotle in 340 B.C. through to the modern thinkers, speakers, and writers of today, this key to happiness has hardly changed. It is the same for virtually all men and women in every country and all walks of life. The key to happiness is this: Dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.

This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life.

YOUR HAPPINESS MUST COME FIRST

In Edmond Rostand's Play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: "I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things."

Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. However, most people are reluctant to use their own happiness as the standard by which to judge the events in their lives. This is primarily because we let others define or affect what brings us happiness. And we often believe it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make ourselves happy. This is nonsense.

Human beings are happiness-driven organisms. Everything we do in life is oriented toward maintaining and increasing our level of happiness. We are psychologically constructed so that it is impossible for us to be any other way without making ourselves mentally and emotionally ill. The fact is that you can't give away to anyone else what you don't have for yourself. Just as you can't give money to the poor if you don't have any, you can't make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.

The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kinds of things that make you happy.

LET HAPPINESS BE YOUR GUIDE

Make happiness the organizing principle of your life. That is, compare every possible action and decision against your standard of happiness to see whether it would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all the problems in your life come from choices that you have made - or are currently making - that do not contribute to your happiness.

There will of course be countless times when you will have to do little things that don't make you happy in pursuit of your larger happiness. However, as Earl Nightingale said, "Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal." You feel really happy only when you are moving, stepby- step, toward the accomplishment of clearly defined goals that you feel will enhance the quality of your happiness.

Since you can't be truly happy until you are clear about your inherent possibilities, it's important that you take some time on a regular basis to analyze yourself and identify your strengths and weaknesses. There is an old saying, "Success leaves tracks." You can look back on your life and identify who you really are and what you should be doing with your life. One of the best ways to do this is to constantly ask yourself this powerful question:

"WHAT ONE GREAT THING WOULD I DARE TO DREAM IF I KNEW I COULD NOT FAIL?rdquo;

Imagine that you are absolutely guaranteed success in the pursuit of a particular goal, big or small, shortterm or long-term. Imagine that you have all the money, all the time, all the education, all the contacts, all the resources, and everything else that you could possibly need to achieve any one big goal in life. What would it be? This is a very important question because when you remove the limitation from your thinking, you often get a very clear idea of exactly what you should be doing with your life. Your greatest dream is an indication of your natural abilities and of what is really important to you.

All successful men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their fortune could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, goal or purpose. Step-by-step realization of their ideal makes them genuinely happy.

LIFE'S 4 CATEGORIES

Dr. Viktor Frankl, who wrote the book Man's Search for Meaning, said that you can divide the thing you do in life into four categories. The first category consists of the things that are hard to learn and hard to do. An example for many people is mathematics. Many of us struggled with math in school and still struggle with bookkeeping, accounting, financial statements, and tax returns as adults. If you find mathematics hard to learn and hard to do, this is the sort of activity for which you are clearly unsuited. No matter how much of it you do, or how good you get at it, you will never achieve any lasting satisfaction or happiness from it.

The next category consists of things that are hard to learn but easy to do. Riding a bicycle, driving a car, and tying your shoes are hard to learn but easy to do once you've practiced enough. These are seldom the sort of activities that cause you to feel terrific about yourself when you engage in them. They do not demand your best.

The third category consists of things that are easy to learn but hard to do. Physical labor falls into this category. Digging a ditch with a shovel and chopping wood with an ax are easy to learn but they are hard to do, and never get any easier.

The fourth category is the key. These are things that are easy to learn and easy to do. You seem to have a natural proclivity for them. When you are engaged in this sort of activity, time flies. The things that are easy for you to learn and do are the sort of things that you should be doing with your life. They indicate where your natural talents and abilities lie. Engaging in these activities with your whole heart, and committing yourself to become better and better, will give you all the joy, satisfaction, and happiness you could want in life.

HAPPINESS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT

Everyone has an area of excellence. Everyone has something that he or she can do in an outstanding fashion. It may take weeks, months, or even years for you to develop yourself in that area so that you can really perform in an extraordinary fashion, but you will be strongly attracted to that sort of activity from the beginning. You will enjoy reading about it and talking about it and thinking about it. You will find yourself admiring people who are outstanding in that area. You will look longingly at that field and wonder what it would be like to be in it and to be successful at it. That is very often your heart's desire. That area of activity where you can become excellent is probably what you were put on this earth to do.

So resolve to persist until you succeed. The first part of courage is the resolve to launch in faith toward your objectives; the second part is your willingness to endure in the face of the inevitable disappointments and setbacks you will encounter on the road.

Happiness is not an accident. Happy people are those who deliberately do the things that invariably lead to happiness. Happy people are those who know what they want and then throw their whole hearts into using their unique talents and abilities to make a contribution to the world in the achievement of their goals.

You are put on this earth with a special purpose, programmed with unique talents and abilities that have not yet been fully tapped and utilized. When you focus all your energies on unlocking your true potential, you can claim your ultimate birthright: happiness

words:
unlocking            :  membuka
tapped               : di sadap
deliberatly          : sengaja
willingness          : kerelaan
digging               : penggalian
you engage         :anda terlibat
ridding a bicycle  :naik sepeda

Lessons From Reality TV: A Peak Behind the Mask of Humanity

When Reality Shows first appeared on television they were a breath of fresh air from the same old formulaic programming that many of the networks had fallen into. Sitcoms had reaching the end of a creative cycle with the conclusion of Seinfeld, Friends, and Everybody Loves Raymond. Dramas were stagnating. The field was open for the new kid on the block.

Shows like Survivor, Amazing Race, The Bachelor and eventually The Apprentice grabbed viewers interest at an astonishing pace. The Reality Show format was so successful that not only were new ones coming out almost weekly but actors and producers of fictional shows were getting worried. As with all good things, excess spawned contempt and it wasn't long before all reality shows were painted with the same brush.

Quality programs endured the backlash and are still going strong. They help to inform as well as entertain millions of viewers weekly. Reality Shows give us a rare glimpse into the human psyche. We see people with their guard down, openly confessing their motives, inner thoughts and feelings. More than simply catering to the voyeuristic tendencies in us all, they help enlighten us.

Survivor is the grand daddy of Reality Shows. Who will ever forget the first season when Richard Hatch played the game brilliantly and showed us how manipulation and deviousness does get rewarded? For the naïve and good natured among us, the belief that people are basically honest must have been greatly shaken. What about alliances? Will people you trust always watch your back or will they place self- interest ahead of loyalty? Reality shows provide an important lesson in human nature that can pay dividends for a lifetime if taken to heart. Is Survivor just a game? Don't believe it.

How about The Amazing Race? Here the lessons are a little different. The popularity of this award winning show has remained strong for 9 seasons. Although sometimes painfully formulaic, it gives us a broad glimpse of the world and the diversity of its people. Where else can you get a quick lesson in endurance and perseverance with so little effort? Guilty pleasure or not, The Amazing Race shows us the power of competition, the benefit of positive attitude and the grace and dignity that can be salvaged from defeat. Watching comfortably at home it may seem exciting, even easy but could your relationship withstand that level of stress? Do you see yourself in any of the racers?

You may be surprised at the number of people that take The Apprentice very seriously. Numerous blogs and websites are exclusively devoted to the business lessons gleaned from each episode. Anyone in business realizes that the situations presented aren't always realistic. It is a television show after all with an unforgiving requirement to entertain above all else. However, business people also know that you can learn some valuable lessons from each show if you take a moment to think about it. The hope for success and the elusive search for the secret to great wealth keep people coming back week after week.

The list of benefits continues. Big Brother offers political intrigue and demonstrates the power and the folly of alliances. The American Inventor offers people a glimpse into product development and the hard work most people don't see that goes into a great or not so great idea. Overnight success is rare.

Make no mistake. Producers and advertisers like reality shows because it gives them a new format for advertising, one where the commercials can't easily be avoided. If you accept the fact that advertising is the price to pay for enjoying low cost entertainment, you may as well learn something about the nature of humanity in the process.

Work-Life Balance Is Just Good Business!

It would be nice to think that the companies on the leading edge of work/life balance programs are simply being good citizens and doing the right thing! But, the fact is that these programs make good business sense.

In addition to increased productivity and employee satisfaction, companies can retain valuable employees in a competitive environment, and attract new employees with these programs.

Every generation in the workforce today reports that work and life balance is one of the top issues for them and that they want to work in a company that supports their desire to have more balance in their life.

Whatever the reason for the movement, we should be glad it is upon us.

Who are the companies with programs, what do the programs look like and what results have they achieved?

You might be surprised to know that these companies cut across all industries in the private and the public sector. Here are some examples of program components:

Elder care programs consisting of resources directories, counseling, elder care services and educational services

Expanded telecommuting and 'telework' programs that allow employees to work from home or other locations

Part-time and job sharing positions for employees come off disability or recovering from health problems, or for parents who wish to spend time at home with their children or with aging parents

Fully accredited child care centers in or near the workplace

Babies in the Workplace programs that allow a child to remain with a parent in the workplace until the age of six months or whenever the child starts to crawl.

Alternative work schedules and FlexTime work schedules that allow employees to work hours other than 9:00 to 5:00 in order to better meet their personal needs

Family Advocacy Programs held at lunch-time on managing personal finances, parenting, stress management, anger management and elder care issues.

Outdoor recreation, walking paths and fitness equipment for employee use during and after work. Some companies even provide grills, row boats and other equipment for employee family use.

Support groups for elder care, new fathers, holistic health, spousal abuse, single parents, adoptive parents, parents of teenagers parents of blended or merged families, caregivers, and grandparents raising grandchildren alone.

Nursing Mother Rooms for breastfeeding moms

Enforced scheduling and use of vacation and personal days to ensure that the employees takes time off from work

Cross-training in positions to ensure coverage so that employees can take time off without the company suffering

These are just some of the examples of programs in government agencies, hotels, banks, corporations and union environments around the country.

Human Resource Management companies and universities study the effects of these programs and publish reports to support and encourage their growth. And the really dedicated companies keep finding new ways to encourage balance.

In many cases, this effort still has to trickle down into the company. Older managers or those supervisors who feel they are being shortchanged on work may frown upon these initiatives and studies find that programs put in place without adequate manager and employee training rarely have the same impact as a program that includes communication via seminars, training, written manuals and frequent follow-up.

If your company wants to start a work/life balance program, you can contact a consulting company that provides analysis and planning services to get you started, or you can look to some of the publications out there online or in written form for self-paced program implementation.

Here are some links to get you started:

http://www.simpleliving.net/timeday/links.asp
http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/business.php
http://www.workfamily.com/Open/ElevenStepsPage.asp
http://www.workfamily.com/Vendors/WorkLifeVendors.asp

A simple internet search will give you more options. Whether you are an employee, frustrated with overwork, a manager who wants to create a more supportive environment, or a company trying to get more information on these programs, the search is worthwhile.

Work/Life Programs benefit the company by increasing productivity and focus on the job, reducing job turnover and increasing employee satisfaction. Employees will miss less time from work, because they will not be sick as often.
Families will be more supportive of the employee's job and company choice because they know the company supports the employee's personal needs, and their efforts to sustain good health and to manage stress.

If your company does not have a Work/Life Program in place, ask your manager about starting one. See if you can get a grass roots movement going!

If you are in a position to influence the company's decision or you have the power to decide on a Work/Life Program, don't wait. Contrary to what you may think you won't lose money or time on this program. Instead, your company will run better and you will find it easier to attract and retain good employees. You will get a lot of support and good press from your employees and your managers, alike - and your company may even end up in one of those University Case Studies. A role model for others to follow!

Always Set Yourself Targets And Work Hard To Achieve Them

Selalu Tetapkan Target Diri Dan Bekerja Keras Untuk Mencapai nya

I was always told by parents to always work towards a future goalor target and to ensure that you reached that goal. This they told me would make me a success in life. This article describes about the importance of having a goal in life.

Aku selalu diberitahu oleh orang tua untuk selalu bekerja menuju tujuanmasa depan atau target dan untuk memastikan bahwa Anda mencapaitujuan tersebut. Ini mereka mengatakan kepada saya akan membuatsaya sukses dalam hidup. Artikel ini menjelaskan tentang pentingnyamemiliki tujuan dalam hidup.

I read many books and I recently read a book that described the importance of having a goal in life. In the books example, a survey had been carried out at a school. The people surveyed were students who had recently taken their final exams. They were asked to answer various questions, one of which asked, where would you like to be in five years time?

Saya membaca banyak buku dan saya baru-baru ini membacasebuah buku yang menggambarkan pentingnya memiliki tujuan dalamhidup. Dalam contoh buku-buku, sebuah survei telah dilaksanakan disekolah. Orang-orang yang disurvei adalah mahasiswa yang baru saja mengambil ujian akhir mereka. Mereka diminta untuk menjawabberbagai pertanyaan, salah satunya bertanya, di mana Anda inginberada dalam waktu lima tahun?

Looking back I am sure that if you had asked me that question, when I was sixteen, I would have had to put down, that I had no idea, as it was not something I had ever had thought about, despite my parents advice to set targets. I wanted to be a snooker player when in reality I had no chance of making the grade.

Melihat kembali Saya yakin bahwa jika Anda telah meminta saya bahwa pertanyaan, ketika saya enam belas, saya harus meletakkan,bahwa aku tidak tahu, karena itu bukan sesuatu yang saya pernahberpikir tentang, meskipun saran orang tua saya untuk menetapkantarget. Aku ingin menjadi pemain snooker ketika pada kenyataannya saya tidak memiliki kesempatan untuk membuat grade.

The people who carried out the survey reported that only five percent of the answers were accepted as having a goal. Five years later, the students were tracked down and the five percent of people who had had a goal, when their net asset worth's were added together, the total amount was higher than all of the other peoples added together. Now of course money is not everything in life, however to me this shows that people who have a goal in life are more likely to be more successful than people who haven't.

Orang-orang yang melakukan survei melaporkan bahwa hanya limapersen dari jawaban yang diterima memiliki tujuan. Lima tahunkemudian, para mahasiswa melacak dan lima persen orang yangpunya tujuan, ketika nilai aktiva bersih mereka ditambahkan bersama-sama, jumlah total lebih tinggi dari semua bangsa lainnya yang ditambahkan bersama-sama. Sekarang tentu saja uang bukanlahsegalanya dalam hidup, namun bagi saya ini menunjukkan bahwaorang yang memiliki tujuan dalam hidup lebih cenderung lebih berhasildibandingkan orang yang belum ..

I then looked at my life I was twenty two and had a net asset worth of zero! I had been working for six years and had nothing to show for it. I then started to think about the future and started setting some of my own goals.

Saya kemudian melihat hidup saya, saya 22 dan memiliki nilai aktivabersih dari nol! Saya telah bekerja selama enam tahun dan tak adauntuk menunjukkan untuk itu. Saya kemudian mulai berpikir tentangmasa depan dan mulai menetapkan beberapa tujuan sendiri .

This has helped me in a very big way, to purchase for example my first house.

Hal ini telah membantu saya dalam cara yang sangat besar, misalnyauntuk membeli rumah pertama saya.

The Root Cause and Permanent Solution for an Alcohol or Drug Addiction

The alcohol and drug problem in this country is huge and most of the standard addiction recovery and treatment programs aren't working. Consider the following


CRIME: 25% of all prison inmates are there for drug related crimes. 16.4% are in prison for committing crimes to get money for drugs. 47% of crimes were committed while a person was on drugs or alcohol.

SEX: A lot of the sex outside of marriage wouldn't happen if it weren't for alcohol or drugs being used to try to drown out guilt and fear (which are nature's feedback to try to stop us from doing something against its perfect order). And nature does other harsh things to try to stop sex outside of marriage. USA Today reported that shockingly, 1/2 of everyone under 25 years old in the United States has had an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease). The U.S. Dept. of Health reports that there are 1.1 million current cases of AIDS/HIV in the United States. (So obviously, it needs to be recognized that nature is hostile towards sex outside of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage, which is the only sexual setting that nature doesn't try to stop via harsh consequences). 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare, costing this country $7 billion annually. And a University of Georgia study reports that of those individuals who experienced unwanted sexual intercourse in the last year, 92.1% had been under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

ACCIDENTS: Alcohol is involved in 50% of all driving fatalities. In the United States, every 30 minutes someone is killed in an alcohol or alcoholism related traffic accident. That amounted to 17,488 people last year alone.

MENTAL ILLNESS: Fifty percent of the mentally ill population has a substance abuse problem. In fact, 22 million Americans suffer from substance dependence or abuse due to drugs, alcohol or both, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

EMOTIONAL HEALTH: The general emotional health of the public is very poor, as is evidenced by the high divorce rate and a teen suicide rate that is higher than the other 26 industrialized nations combined. Other indicators of the general state of the heart of America come from its entertainment industries: the shocking and harsh experiences in the movies, the rampant dysfunction on television, and the high percent of bad feelings (and the big void of good feelings) that come out of the music industry.

Now that's the bad news. The good news is that there is a solution to all of this. That solution starts with understanding what the basic problem is. The basic problem behind alcoholism and drug abuse is that people aren't finding happiness and fulfillment naturally. So then they attempt to achieve happiness and fulfillment (or escape their unhappiness and emptiness) by using alcohol or drugs. But those bandaids usually end up leading to a lot more unhappiness, health problems, financial problems, relationship breakups, legal problems, etc. A lot of hidden damage is done while in a stolen euphoria. But obviously those risks aren't enough to outweigh the problems in a person's emotional state or the lacking in their life that cause them to overlook the risks and dangers of alcohol and drug use.

So then, WHY are people so unhappy or unfulfilled that they would make that choice? The answer is simple: they are not operating in harmony with the natural design of their being. It starts with the fact that if a person has his or her natural drives unsatisfied for more than a normal period of time while searching for satisfaction, over time the frustration and lack of hope from this can cause them to become more dulled and depressed and even sleepy and prone to drugs to try to make his or her self feel good and not feel bad.

But, the good news is that the continual unnaturalness that led to this bad state can be reversed. And the process that will awaken them, enliven them and make them even feel good and excited about their life. The reason is that they are given hope that there is a real solution for their problems…and then they actually get satisfaction by carrying out that solution.

Teaching a person how to be happy naturally and in harmony with the real design, meaning and purpose of their life is the key to how they get the strength, joy and deep fulfillment that is necessary for them to have no inclination for alcohol or drugs. But, that's easier said than done, and can only happen within THE natural design of how we were made to be. That means first knowing what that design is. That can be a difficult thing to do in this world because there is a great amount of debate and disagreement as to what that design really is. But 'the world' in general, obviously has it wrong if there exists such a huge drug and alcohol problem and poor social statistics.


Having been in the top echelons of the music business as a former member of Sly & The Family Stone and The Elvin Bishop Group, I know alcohol and drug abuse well. But after experimenting with 22 approaches to lifestyle and personal growth, I became free from alcohol and drugs 24 years ago (after 18 years of use). I finally realized that fighting nature is not a battle that anyone can win and be happy. Therefore why even try?

Understanding and flowing with the natural order is how to make inner, outer and social life work at their best. But like I said, that is a task that is easier said than done, given that the mainstream culture in general is not in harmony with the natural order and is tolerant of a lot of dysfunction. Therefore, if a person wants to be free from a weakness for alcohol or drugs, they will have to go through a re-orientation of how the mind, heart and body are designed to function, and they will have to know how to have the strength and vision to transform into that design. My self-help Addiction Free Forever program shows how to do all of those things.

Being Flexible

When you think about being flexible, what do you think of first? Which aspects of being flexible are important, which are essential, and which ones can you take or leave? You be the judge.

In each of our lives, there will be times of joy and times of sorrow. In pain, we are born. In pain, we leave the world. Somewhere in the midst of living, growing, and understanding life in our maturity, we find ourselves seeking to find what we were born with. Innocence is precious. We really never lose it. We might for a time lose innocence, but life is too large for one perceptual being to embrace fully with the mind and the heart.

Innocence comes alive the moment we realize life is beyond our control, our ability to perceive, and our emotional capacity to feel. It is here we realize that life is beyond our control and we open our hearts and mind to something greater than ourselves. Our ego finds its proper place in our lives and we shift from being the central core of life's existence and attention to something much greater. At this point, we begin to place our life, our heart, our mind, and our soul into the very wisdom that has created us.

I trust that what you've read so far has been informative. The following section should go a long way toward clearing up any uncertainty that may remain.

This movement from self-centered awareness to life-centered awareness allows us to perceive and have revealed to us information greater than what we know life to be to what can be known through us. Here, we become flexible with life, instead of, life having to go our way. This level of knowing creates a 6th sense, a super sense of awareness, an awareness in higher consciousness. We become more soul than body at this point. We become the awareness that brought us into this world. We become spiritual beings having a human experience. We become sons and daughters of the Universe.

When we remember who we are. We re - member ourselves back into the awareness at birth and at death. This awareness is with us always. We sometimes forget who we are. But, when we re - member who we are. We reconnect ourselves into the sense of knowing we grow through life and we also go through life. Through it all, our soul is in process of maturing and in process of remembering. With this in mind, our ups and our downs find consolation in our essence - in our spirit.

Success Formula

Success makes you more self-confident. Besides success gives birth to another victory. Even the smallest piece of luck can be a step to a great one. To reach your own peak of success, you are to climb the following steps: Dare to try and dare to win. If you come across something unknown, you are sure to feel doubtful. Overcome your hesitations and be in the mood of victory. Surely you are to make concessions, you will not avoid mistakes. But it will serve you as a good practice. You'll learn from your mistakes and next time you will act differently.

Turn anxiety into self-confidence. Stop worrying what others think of you. Turn anxiety into self-confidence. Think more of other people. Each person is unique and special. Try appeal to his/her interest. If you manage to win his trust, you will be more confident and worry will disappear. Try to relax. Look for best in people. Talk about things interesting for your company. Share the attention. If you active and attract a lot of attention – share it. You should give something to the people around you, not just enjoy your own popularity. Think more of others. A self-confident person should be compassionate, show interest to other people and be able to get on with people. The most difficult is to turn satisfaction of other people's needs into the means of achieving your aim.

Believe in yourself and value yourself. Learn to listen. This is the key to developing "successful "personality in you. It will help you to set a more close connection with your partner. Overcome constraint and speak freely. Talk to the point – the thought adds lustre to the conversation. Act. You can't sit and wait till the golden rain falls on you. Don't rest on the laurels, but enjoy your position. Accept praise and kind words with pleasure. Don't criticize, praise. Someone has attained success by hard work or he was just lucky – give due to them. Do not miss an opportunity to praise someone. People like it and it fills you with confidence. If someone has managed to do it, then you are also able to cope with it. You will have optimistic and successful atmosphere around you. And this is a substantial support.

Your 6-Step Plan For Press Release Placement

There's a clear way around press release failure and it's called the pitch. A lot like it sounds a pitch is a fast throw at busy editors about a possible story. If they want to find out more, then you send the press release.

That leads me to a huge pet peeve: Sending out press releases via e-mail to a list of editors. From my experience it's never - ever - worked. I no longer try it and suggest you don't either. It's a waste of your time and all of the editors. Instead:

1. Focus on a handful of your "dream publications." For me, I'd like to get into Fortune Small Business, Entrepreneur magazine and the Wall Street Journal. When picking your publications, think of your target audience. What do they read and why do they read it?

2. Pick the section you'd like to appear in. You never know, but chances are you won't appear on the cover of the publication in your first attempt at placement, instead, focus on sidebars, resource listings and short news sections. Almost all print pubs have them. Look at it as the waiting room for bigger and better stories on the unique products and/or services you offer.

3. Find out who the editor is. Once you have your section, find out who's in charge of it. You'll need the person's name, e-mail address and the most important element of successfully getting placed in the publication . .

4. Learn what the editor needs. The number one thing you'll need to know about the editors you're targeting is the kind of information they want to publish in their sections. There are two ways to do that: You could ask, but then that could open up a can of worms if the editor doesn't want to get calls - and most don't. Or, you could compare a few back issues of the publication to find out what they've published in the past.

5. Create the pitch. You'll want to start your pitch by stating your understanding of the editor's needs. Then list - in clear bullet points - how your news fits his or her requirements. Note: Always leave your phone number in the text of the pitch e-mail to give the editor easy access to you - and your story.

6. Repeat steps 1 through 5 until you get a response. Sound tedious? Maybe. But at least the time you spend on this will reap much better results than sending one release out to thousands of editors - right along with other business people hungry for coverage.

Bottom line: It's about building relationships with editors. And the only way to build a relationship is to find the need and fill it - consistently and considerately.

Are You Getting in the Way?

Getting out of our busy mode and into our heart occasionally, I'm certain that many of us would find at least one moment during our day where we could pause, reflect on a situation, and see something that we can do to make a difference in someone else's life.

The pace of life and work has increased a lot and I daresay we don't give as much thought as we could to the circumstances of other people's lives. Sometimes, we're so caught up in our own struggle that we don't think we can even afford the time to "give" our time, suggestions, talents, to others. And yet, if we do, we are rewarded.

We are often times, throughout our lives, able to experience richness, synchronicity, and reward through small acts of generosity. This isn't even about money, although sometimes the rewards will impact our financial status as well. And yet, we fail too often when we are so self-absorbed or consumed by our own situation thinking we'd give up too much by helping.

So, this is just a gentle reminder for all of us to pay attention to at least one "little thing" that will make a difference for someone else. Try to make it for someone you don't know well or don't know at all; family and friends are too easy and natural.

Smashing the Myth of the Press Release

A musician spends years honing his craft. He writes world-class songs and performs them in a manner that moves his listeners to tears. He records a demo tape and sends it to record labels. He gets a contract and becomes rich, famous and adored.

The lesson: demo tapes are the secret of becoming a famous musician.

Wait, you say, the demo tape was just a tool, just his way of conveying his talent. It's his ability as a musician that got him the contract and made him famous.

You're right, of course. He could have become just as famous if a record executive saw him in person, or heard about him from a friend, or as a result of a variety of other events.

Which brings us to the press release.

Somehow, the press release has taken on a magical reputation as the alpha and omega of publicity. Wanna become rich? Send out a press release. Wanna become famous? Press release. Wanna get on the cover of Newsweek? Press release.

Publicity "gurus" are springing up all over the Internet touting the press release as the answer to all marketing ills. Just knock out a release, mass e-mail it to journalists, sit back and wait for Oprah to call.

It's a cruel joke.

Here's the reality: the press release is no more important to your potential of scoring free publicity than the demo tape was to our musician friend. If he had no talent, if his songs sounded like garbage, the best recorded demo tape in the world wouldn't get him signed. Ditto for the publicity seeker. If you don't have a story to tell, your press release is utterly worthless.

I'm not knocking the press release -- it's an important tool. But it's just that: a tool. It's not the first thing you need to think about when it comes time to seek publicity. In fact, it's one of the last. And it's not even absolutely necessary (I've gotten plenty of publicity with just a pitch letter, a quick e-mail or a phone call)

If you worship at the shrine of the press release, it's time to rearrange your priorities. Here, then, are the things that are MORE important than a press release in generating publicity:

1. A newsworthy story. This is the equivalent of our musician's talent. It's the very basis for your publicity efforts. Without it, your press release means nothing. To learn about how to develop a newsworthy story, take a look at http://publicityinsider.com/questions.asp and scroll down to "Is my company/website/life really newsworthy?"

2. Learning to think like an editor. Oh, what an edge you'll have in scoring publicity over all those press release worshippers once you learn how to get inside the head of an editor. Give an editor what he wants in the way he wants it and you'll do great. I've got an entire article on the subject at
http://publicityinsider.com/freesecret.asp Go there now and absorb it all. Trust me, it will make a world of difference.

3. Relevance. Tie in with a news event, make yourself part of a trend, piggyback on a larger competitor's story, but, by all means, make your story part of a picture that's bigger than just your company. Stories that exist in a vacuum quickly run out of oxygen.

4. Persistence. Sending out a press release and waiting for results is lazy and ineffective. If you really believe in your story, and you believe that it's right for a particular media outlet, you need to fight to make it happen. Call or e-mail the editor to pitch your story BEFORE sending the release. If one editor says no, try somebody else. If they all say no, come back at them with a different story angle.

Getting publicity involves so much more than just sending out a press release. Treat it as seriously and with as much respect as our newly minted rock star treats his craft and you'll be well on your way to success.

Foundations Of The Law Of Attraction

The Lord Buddha said "All that we are is the result of what we have thought", the Darby Bible Translation tells us that Job, 3: 25 of the old testament, declared, "For I feared a fear, and it hath come upon me, and that which I dreaded hath come to me." It seems that both Buddha and Job understood the eternal workings of the Law Of Attraction. However, unlike the enlightened Buddha, Job, like the majority of people today, suffered the dire consequences of not using this law to his advantage!

The Law Of Attraction at its very basic level states that everything is created by thought and that thought attracts to itself, physical things, people, situations and circumstances. Your thoughts are attracting these things in this very moment!

However, we do not just create and attract the material things that enter our lives, we also create the body we occupy, the personality we display and, ultimately, the person we are and we do it all through our thoughts. Are you creating the life you desire & becoming the person you wish to be or are you like Job and bringing upon you all manner of woes because you are giving your attention to them? Perhaps you are even identifying yourself as a victim and refusing to acknowledge the Law and use it consciously!

The Law Of Attraction is not as big a Secret, as the hit movie would have you believe. It has been around since the dawn of time and is an unbending, ever-present rule of the Universe. You cannot escape it! There is a great body of evidence that suggests mankind has known about, and utilised, the great Law for about 7000 years. However, the teaching of universal truths did become clouded for many hundreds, if not thousands, of years by greedy self-serving dogmatists that wished to keep control of the masses and was actually banned at one point.

It was largely at the beginning of the 20th century that the general public started to become aware of this great law due to the diligence, fortitude, integrity and grace of writers such as James Allen (1864-1912), Napoleon Hill (1883-1970) and Charles Haanel (1866-1949).

Wallace D. Wattles (1860 – 1911) was another pioneer of free thinking. In his great work "The Science of Getting Rich" Wattles states a great truth, "There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe. A thought in this substance produces the thing that is imaged by the thought." How revolutionary that statement was in 1910.

Haanel set out in a 24 part correspondence course, which is now condensed into one volume called "The Master Key System", a complete guide to successfully using the Law Of Attraction! It was banned by the Church in 1933 due to its revelations. This is allegedly the book Bill Gates read before he created Microsoft!

Napoleon Hill revealed Andrew Carnegie's great Secret to the world - that thoughts create things - when he wrote "Think & Grow Rich" in 1937 (although it had taken him 25 years to complete).

James Allen wrote his famous work in 1912 and in "As a Man Thinketh" he tells people that "mind is the master-weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance, and that, as they may have hitherto woven in ignorance and pain they may now weave in enlightenment and happiness."

However, although the teachings have been around for thousands of years and they have been readily and easily available to the general public for almost a century the great majority of people do not take the time to learn the workings of probably the most powerful physical law in the Universe.

I think you owe it to yourself to delve deeper into this mysterious Universe and learn as much as you can about the laws that govern your life. When you truly understand the Law Of Attraction and begin to work with it for you personal advantage, I promise you, your life will change in fantastic, unexpected and unlimited ways.

Begin now to utilise this gift and construct in your imagination the life you really want to live. Seek out ways to remove your own inner resistance and limiting beliefs.

Start to use the Law Of Attraction today!

True Happiness

Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of their unhappiness or frustration. After all, wouldn't life be practically perfect if the significant people in our lives would simply do things the way we want them to or do what we think is best for them? Actually, this is the kind of thinking that perpetuates the misery!

I agree that most of today's unhappiness centers on important people in our lives not cooperating with us. Can anyone relate to that? Have you ever had a child who makes a decision that puts them in serious danger? Have you ever had a significant other decide to relocate or make an employment decision with which you were not in agreement? Did one of your parents ever say something critical to you that rocked your confidence? Ever had a supervisor who micromanaged your work and never gave credit for your good work performance? I think you get the idea. Any one or combination of these things can be a source of unhappiness for us and I'm sure you can add several others to the list.

While we are in situations such as these, it sure feels like if the others in our life would just cooperate and be the way we want them to be, and then our lives would be so much better, happier and more fulfilling. While this may, in fact, be true, what I also believe is this. While we are busy trying to get those significant others in our lives to do things our way, the behaviors we typically engage in to move others in our desired direction are exactly those behaviors that damage, and ultimately destroy, our relationships.

You know the behaviors I'm talking about: punishing, guilting, complaining, nagging, threatening, criticizing, "the silent treatment", and if we are particularly savvy, rewarding to control, otherwise known as bribing.

If you are one of those people whose first choice of action is to negotiate and open the doors of communication, then you are rare. Ask yourself what do you typically resort to when negotiations fail?

I know one of my more polished behaviors is nagging. I am a world class nag---just ask my children. You know the drill. "How about cleaning up your room today?" Thirty minutes later, after the child is still in front of his video game, "Are you going to get to that room today?" Maybe two hours later, several decibels louder, "What about that ROOM?" Then, as a last frustration, it's "Will you get off your lazy a*# and clean your blankety blank blank room!!!!" Ever been there? Did it work to get the room cleaned? In my case, it usually didn't.

However, I've have had some parents tell me that repeated nagging does work but then my next question usually has a different answer---At what cost? What was the cost of getting that room cleaned? First, there was the cost of you losing control and being a person you probably don't want to be and secondly, there was a definite cost to the relationship between you and your child. Do you believe that after an exchange such as that one, the two of you will be ready and willing to have a meaningful discussion about life or anything else about which you may like to talk? Probably not.

What I am about to say probably goes against what you have believed the good majority of your life and that is that you, and you alone, are responsible for your own happiness. If you are waiting for someone to do something differently or for a particular thing to manifest itself in your life in order for you to be happy, then you are operating from the outside in instead of the inside out.

I am not here to tell you to stop what you are currently doing. If you want to hold on to your beliefs that when your husband becomes more affectionate, your children more obedient, your wife more supportive, your boss more appreciative or you to get your education, pay off your credit cards, buy your first home, etc. in order for you to be happy, then go ahead. But for those of us who want to practice inside out thinking, we don't like to give the power to others to control our happiness or any of our other moods or emotions. We know that we are responsible for ourselves and no one else.

What I can help you with is learning how to be the person you want to be, feel the emotions you want to feel by changing what you do and how you think about things. There is a quote I want to leave you with from Jimmy Dean. "You can't change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails." This is representative of true inside out thinking. People and events are going to be what they are around us. There is very little we can do to impact other people's behavior and the uncontrollable events in our lives but there is always something each of us can do to manage those things better.

Guilt, Resentment, and Our Struggles

Why Do I Feel Guilty?

Before we can start to understand the why behind the guilt, let's first define it. Guilt means that we believe that something we are doing is causing pain to someone else. It's activated by our behavior, thoughts, or feelings that we judge to be wrong or bad.

Normal parents are protective of their children. But what if your parents were overprotective? What if every time you played sports, rode your bike, or roughhoused with friends, your parent-at best-became disturbed and-at worst-frantic? "Watch out, you'll get hurt!" "You'll break a leg!" and so on. Would you have interpreted that as interest in your well being, or rather, believed that you were hurting your parents by your sense of adventure and fun? Children who think that their actions are causing pain for their parents will feel guilt.

Let me be clear. I'm not talking about a parent's normal range of caution and concern. I am talking about extreme caution and worry over small risks. But if you grew up always experiencing irrational guilt about worrying an overprotective parent, you'll also experience guilt in response to risks as an adult. You'll feel frustrated by your excessive sense of caution, but most likely you won't be aware of its cause, and so you'll be unable to change.

Does Any of This Sound Familiar?

1. You feel responsible for your parents' or siblings' misery, and guilty about pursuing your own goals. How you tried placating them, or atoning, in order to relieve your sense of guilt will explain some of your self-defeating life patterns.

2. You quietly developed self-hatred and resentment about having to inhibit a normal behavior or goal when your parent continuously behaved badly toward you. How did you respond to the resentment you felt?

3. You rebelled as a way of protesting. You hoped that they'd get the message you were sending by your behavior and change for the better (that is, you became stubborn to protest against a parent who was too controlling in the hopes that he or she would get the message and be less controlling). Or, you rebelled to prove to yourself that you're your own person and you can't be manipulated. This type of defiant rebelliousness is responsible for many painful self-defeating behaviors.

4. Even though you promised yourself that when you grew up you'd never behave the way your parents did with you, you notice that you're mimicking their worst qualities.

I want you to know why it's so hard to free ourselves of the behaviors we hate no matter how hard we try, no matter how much willpower we exert, no matter how much advice we receive from others. To understand why it is so hard, we'll delve into why our childhood patterns continue on into our adult lives even though they are clearly negative patterns and we no longer are living with our parents. The negative effects of our family experiences remain hidden from our conscious mind, even though this information is critical to changing what we most dislike about ourselves. We'll pin down this elusive awareness in this book and you'll begin to make positive changes in your negative behaviors. Finally and amazingly, many people you'll meet will tell you that they didn't experience major problems in their families and they aren't aware of any guilt feelings. And they'll tell you this despite obvious, and serious, personal problems. Why? Let's see.

Exercise: Now Look at Yourself

Imagine that you could be reborn into your family today. Now imagine that you were born into your family with all the knowledge that you possess right now. Consider writing about the following:


• What would be different for you in your relationship with your mother?

• What would be different for you in your relationship with your father?

• What would be different for you in your relationship with your siblings?



Moving Ahead

Beginning the process of change means beginning a hunt for the causes of your problems that are lurking below the surface of any problem. In the next article, "Do You Think You're in Control of Your Life?" we'll start the hunt for your underlying causes.

Do Not Get Above Your Business

Young men after they get through their business training, or apprenticeship, instead of pursuing their avocation and rising in their business, will often lie about doing nothing. They say; "I have learned my business, but I am not going to be a hireling; what is the object of learning my trade or profession, unless I establish myself?'"

"Have you capital to start with?"

"No, but I am going to have it."

"How are you going to get it?"

"I will tell you confidentially; I have a wealthy old aunt, and she will die pretty soon; but if she does not, I expect to find some rich old man who will lend me a few thousands to give me a start. If I only get the money to start with I will do well."

There is no greater mistake than when a young man believes he will succeed with borrowed money. Why? Because every man's experience coincides with that of Mr. Astor, who said, "it was more difficult for him to accumulate his first thousand dollars, than all the succeeding millions that made up his colossal fortune." Money is good for nothing unless you know the value of it by experience. Give a boy twenty thousand dollars and put him in business, and the chances are that he will lose every dollar of it before he is a year older. Like buying a ticket in the lottery; and drawing a prize, it is "easy come, easy go."

He does not know the value of it; nothing is worth anything, unless it costs effort. Without self-denial and economy; patience and perseverance, and commencing with capital which you have not earned, you are not sure to succeed in accumulating. Young men, instead of "waiting for dead men's shoes," should be up and doing, for there is no class of persons who are so unaccommodating in regard to dying as these rich old people, and it is fortunate for the expectant heirs that it is so.

Nine out of ten of the rich men of our country to-day, started out in life as poor boys, with determined wills, industry, perseverance, economy and good habits. They went on gradually, made their own money and saved it; and this is the best way to acquire a fortune. Stephen Girard started life as a poor cabin boy, and died worth nine million dollars. A.T.

Stewart was a poor Irish boy; and he paid taxes on a million and a half dollars of income, per year. John Jacob Astor was a poor farmer boy, and died worth twenty millions. Cornelius Vanderbilt began life rowing a boat from Staten Island to New York; he presented our government with a steamship worth a million of dollars, and died worth fifty million.
"There is no royal road to learning," says the proverb, and I may say it is equally true, "there is no royal road to wealth." But I think there is a royal road to both. The road to learning is a royal one; the road that enables the student to expand his intellect and add every day to his stock of knowledge, until, in the pleasant process of intellectual growth, he is able to solve the most profound problems, to count the stars, to analyze every atom of the globe, and to measure the firmament this is a regal highway, and it is the only road worth traveling.

So in regard to wealth. Go on in confidence, study the rules, and above all things, study human nature; for "the proper study of mankind is man," and you will find that while expanding the intellect and the muscles, your enlarged experience will enable you every day to accumulate more and more principal, which will increase itself by interest and otherwise, until you arrive at a state of independence. You will find, as a general thing, that the poor boys get rich and the rich boys get poor. For instance, a rich man at his decease, leaves a large estate to his family. His eldest sons, who have helped him earn his
fortune, know by experience the value of money; and they take their inheritance and add to it. The separate portions of the young children are placed at interest, and the little fellows are patted on the head, and told a dozen times a day, "you are rich; you will never have to work, you can always have whatever you wish, for you were born with a golden spoon in your mouth."

The young heir soon finds out what that means; he has the finest dresses and playthings; he is crammed with sugar candies and almost "killed with kindness," and he passes from school to school, petted and flattered. He becomes arrogant and self-conceited, abuses his teachers, and carries everything with a high hand. He knows nothing of the real value of money, having never earned any; but he knows all about the "golden spoon" business.

At college, he invites his poor fellow-students to his room, where he "wines and dines" them. He is cajoled and caressed, and called a glorious good follow, because he is so lavish of his money. He gives his game suppers, drives his fast horses, invites his chums to fetes and parties, determined to
have lots of "good times." He spends the night in frolics and debauchery, and leads off his companions with the familiar song, "we won't go home till morning." He gets them to join him in pulling down signs, taking gates from their hinges and throwing them into back yards and horse-ponds. If the police arrest them, he knocks them down, is taken to the lockup, and joyfully foots the bills.

"Ah! my boys," he cries, "what is the use of being rich, if you can't enjoy yourself?"

He might more truly say, "if you can't make a fool of yourself;" but he is "fast," hates slow things, and doesn't "see it." Young men loaded down with other people's money are almost sure to lose all they inherit, and they acquire all sorts of bad habits which, in the majority of cases, ruin them in health, purse and character. In this country, one generation follows another, and the poor of to-day are rich in the next generation, or the third. Their experience leads them on, and they become rich, and they leave vast riches to their young children. These children, having been reared in luxury, are inexperienced and get poor; and after long experience another generation comes on and gathers up riches again in turn. And thus "history repeats itself," and happy is he who by listening to the experience of others avoids the rocks and shoals on which so many have been wrecked.

"In England, the business makes the man." If a man in that country is a mechanic or working-man, he is not recognized as a gentleman. On the occasion of my first appearance before Queen Victoria, the Duke of Wellington asked me what sphere in life General Tom Thumb's parents were in.

"His father is a carpenter," I replied.

"Oh! I had heard he was a gentleman," was the response of His Grace.

In this Republican country, the man makes the business. No matter whether he is a blacksmith, a shoemaker, a farmer, banker or lawyer, so long as his business is legitimate, he may be a gentleman. So any "legitimate" business is a double blessing it helps the man engaged in it, and also helps others. The Farmer supports his own family, but he also benefits the merchant or mechanic who needs the products of his farm. The tailor not only makes a living by his trade, but he also benefits the farmer, the clergyman and others who cannot make their own clothing. But all these classes often may be gentlemen.

The great ambition should be to excel all others engaged in the same occupation.

The college-student who was about graduating, said to an old lawyer:

"I have not yet decided which profession I will follow. Is your profession full?"

"The basement is much crowded, but there is plenty of room up-stairs," was the witty and truthful reply.

No profession, trade, or calling, is overcrowded in the upper story. Wherever you find the most honest and intelligent merchant or banker, or the best lawyer, the best doctor, the best clergyman, the best shoemaker, carpenter, or anything else, that man is most sought for, and has always enough to do. As a nation, Americans are too superficial-- they are striving to get rich quickly, and do not generally do their business as substantially and thoroughly as they should, but whoever excels all others in his own line, if his habits are good and his integrity undoubted, cannot fail to secure abundant patronage, and the wealth that naturally follows. Let your motto then always be "Excelsior," for by living up to it there is no such word as fail.

Building An Awesome Audience For Your Book

"The Book Sistah"

I got lucky. The month that I sold my novel was the same month that I started my newsletter, Living the Dream, for my coaching business. I had no idea that as my list of subscribers grew I would have a great platform from which to launch the book 18 months later. Thanks to that list, I was pre-selling my book long before it hit store shelves.

I was cultivating an audience without realizing it. But now I know that having a list is a goldmine, both for selling your book and for getting your book noticed by a publisher. These days if you can prove that you come to the table with a huge audience, a big advance may follow. But how do you get such a list? These tips will help you go from seed to harvest as you grow your group.

1. Start with who you know.

Most of us have some form of list already, either in your email system's address book or your basic holiday card list that you use once a year. It may be as small as 10-25 or as big as 200-400. Start out by sending a general email letting the people on your list know that you're getting organized and planning to send out regular notes, newsletters, whatever you plan to send. Give them the opportunity to opt out if they're not interested. Most will probably stay on since your family and friends are interested in hearing about what you're up to.

2. Whenever you meet new people, get permission to add them to your list.

At this point in your writing career, it's essential that you're out meeting people at least once a month. You can go to networking events, take classes or (and this is the best) do speaking engagements. Non-fiction authors especially should be speaking regularly because you want to establish your expertise in your topic or topics. You can collect business cards when you network or take classes and get people to sign in with their contact information at your event. Make sure you GET PERMISSION and let people know they will be hearing from you via newsletter, etc. It is truly poor form to put people on your mailing list without their knowledge. It's also called spamming!

I know that signing people up is key because I've observed popular authors doing just that. I once attended a reading by E. Lynn Harris because I knew he had a huge--and faithful-- readership and I wanted to glean some clues as to how he did it. Sure enough, the room was packed and every single person behaved as though they knew him personally. When it came time to sign books, he made an announcement: he would sign your book if you signed his! He made it clear you would be hearing from him via email, birthday and holiday cards. People were all too happy to sign the list. Brilliant!

You'll quickly learn, as your list grows, that your email account may not allow you to send mass messages to groups larger than 50-80. Also, it's not a good idea to only have your list on your computer, you'll want it backed up elsewhere. The solution: sign on for a list service. You'll have your database expertly maintained, plus most list services will give you templates and allow you to send out really good looking HTML email messages to your list. You can also get code and links that allow people to sign themselves onto your list from your website. There are many you can try. I use both Constant Contact (http://www.constantcontact.com) and 1 Shopping Cart (http://www.1shoppingcart.com). If you're not selling products or services, you may not need a shopping cart so Constant Contact may be just the thing for you.

4. Communicate to your list regularly.

You want to keep in touch with the people on your list so they don't forget about you. The way you do it is up to you. As I said above, E. Lynn Harris sends notes and cards to his list. A colleague of mine sends daily inspirational quotes. I'm a big fan of email newsletters because you can provide news on your activities and useful content for your readers. When you provide content, such as tips for real estate investors, marketing ideas, or even cookbook recipes, you are establishing your expertise. You're also giving people a good reason to stay on your list--they're getting good stuff out of it. In the past I have offered discounts on my services, gift certificates for people to give out over the holidays and articles with career counseling and goal-achieving tips. And every issue of Living the Dream also features my book and the stellar reviews it's received. You can see past issues by going to http://www.creativecoachingplans.com/newsletter.html.

5. Generate excitement and anticipation with your list.

When your book is nearing publication, you'll want to start letting your audience know that it's coming. You can generate pre-sale orders, alert your list of book reviews as they come out and let your audience know where you'll be appearing when you start speaking and doing book signings. My book was first listed on Amazon.com about six months before its publication date. I sent out a "special announcement" letting people know it was there and encouraging them to pre-order the book. On that glorious day my book ranked as high as 3,000 on Amazon's list! I may not be J.K. Rowling, but I think that's pretty good. Plus, that's the kind of information that helps distributors sell your book to bookstores. They know you already have an awesome audience just waiting to buy!

Plant a Seed and Watch Your Business Grow

Do you have all the business you could possibly want or need? If you're like me, you're still growing your business. Marketing is an ongoing item on my agenda, and I'm always looking for new ways to market my services. Where do you begin the process of attracting more business? How do you get the ball rolling in the direction you want your business to be heading? Well, it's really simple. Start planting seeds! If you can start your garden growing this spring, why not start your business growing too?

You can start by telling everyone what you do, including those people in your life you see every day. Talk to your hairdresser, dentist, financial advisor, or babysitter. You just never know who they might know who may want or need your products or services. Leave business cards with those people, so they can hand them out to others who may be interested in contacting you. That old saying that includes the line "the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker" may just ring true after all.

Plant seeds everywhere you go. Typical ways to market your business are fine, but the best way is by simply using word-of-mouth. "Who do you know..." can be a very powerful statement when you are talking to others about what you do or what you sell. Let your presence be known. Be creative! I have a Team 100 list of the top professionals I know. When someone either in my professional circle or my personal circle is looking for a particular service, I'm able to refer them to someone I know and trust. All of the professionals on my list are able to refer me to those they know as well. It's a win/win situation. My name is on their list, their name is on mine, so the seed has been planted, and keeps growing

As business owners or managers we often find it difficult, even in the best of situations to get out and seek new business. You've probably thought that if you could just find a way to squeeze that into your day without spending more time away from your family or working weekends, you'd be all set, right? Guess what? You can and all that it's going to take is a little preparation.

1. Keep a box of business cards in your car. That way, you can always keep a stack of cards in your wallet or business card holder.

The next time you go out to eat, leave a card on the table when you leave.

Drop a business card in each bill you mail out.,/li>
When you're at the book store, slip your card into some of the books related to your industry. Be sure to put them near the middle of the book so they don't fall out when someone is casually flipping through.

Place a card rack full of your business cards on the counter of your dry cleaner. Most of them are more than happy to help out a good customer.

Give each friend a stack of your business cards to hand out.



2. Make a goal of meeting at least one new person each day. If you overhear someone mention your industry or a hobby of yours, make a point to introduce yourself. Start a conversation while you're waiting in line at the bank or the Office Depot. You may never see or even talk to these people again, but chances are good that you will

3. Never eat alone. You have to eat and so does everyone else, so why not use that time to catch up with friends and associates? There are a few benefits for both of you here.

You can keep in touch with people without taking a lot of time out of your work day.

By interacting with people that you enjoy being in the company of, your stress levels will go down.

Your name stays at the front of their minds - great for referrals!


4. Network in one non-work related organization. It can be anything - a baseball team, a church or charity, a community group - pretty much anything. The idea is to have the ability to network without the usual competition that you would face in a Chamber of Commerce or other business related organization. If you don't currently participate in something that's not related to work you should seriously consider it. It will help you create a balance between your work and your personal life while opening up a channel for new business.

"He Hate Me": Turning Their Bad Attitude Into Your Great Leadership Results

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to: brent@actionleadership.com

Word count: 1450


"He Hate Me" was the nickname of Rod Smart, a leading rusher in 2002 for the Las Vegas Outlaws of the now defunct XFL pro football league. Looking for an edge, the XFL allowed players to put nicknames on their uniforms.

"I was always saying, 'he hate me,' all through camp in Vegas," Smart said. "If I didn't get the ball, I'd talk to the other running backs and say, 'He hate me, man; this coach hate me.' I was always saying that."

Smart put He Hate Me on the back of his number 32 jersey, and now the name lives in lore, though XFL has been out of business for years.

When I first saw Rod Smart play and his "He Hate Me" jersey, I thought, "Forget about football. That's a leadership lesson!" That's because "He Hate Me" and leadership often go hand-in-hand.

Clearly, leadership is not about winning a popularity contest, it's about getting results -- not just average results but more results faster continually. To lead people to get the latter, you often must challenge them to do not want they want to do but what they don't want to do.

That's where "He Hate Me" comes in. When you move people from being comfortable getting average results to being uncomfortable doing what's needed to get great results, strong feelings, hatred and anger, are often triggered. Having people resent you, even hate you, comes with the territory of being a leader. In fact, if you are not getting a portion of the people you lead angry with you, you may not be challenging them enough.

This does not mean you consecrate their anger and let it fester. You absolutely must deal with it. After all, you can't motivate angry, resentful, "He Hate Me" people to be your cause leaders.

Here is my four-step process to help you deal with angry people you lead. (1) RECOGNIZE. (2) IDENTIFY. (3) VALIDATE. (4)TRANSLATE.

RECOGNIZE: Recognize that if you don't face up to the anger of the people you lead, that anger will eventually wind up stabbing you in the back.

Many leaders could care less about people's anger. They say in effect: "People should do what I tell them to do. Period. Their feelings are irrelevant." If 'my-way-or-the-highway' is your way of leading, don't engage in this process. I submit, however, that such leadership is far less effective than the leadership that motivates people to be your ardent cause leaders.

Making motivation happen involves first understanding if people are angry with you or not. Often, people won't tell you they are angry. They'll try hide it from you either out of embarrassment, trepidation, or wanting a sense of control.

Here are ways you can recognize that people are angry with you. The first is that you can see it on their faces or their body language. The second is that you can tell it in a drop off in their performance. The third is that you hear from other people they are angry. The fourth is they actually show you and tell you they are angry.

IDENTIFY: Identify the causes of their anger. This may not be as simple or as easy as you think. They may be angry, but they may not want to talk about why they are angry or even admit to you that they are. Don't back them in a corner. Don't make judgments. Don't get angry yourself. Get interested. Don't say, for instance, "You're angry ... " Instead, ask open-ended questions like, "Are you angry with me?" -- a question that seems on the surface only slightly different but that will make a big difference in the consequences of your interactions with them.

Once you and they have identified that they are angry, come to an agreement as to the actual reasons why. Drill through superficial reasons to the bedrock of why. They may say they are angry because you are giving them more work to do. But digging further, you may find out that they believe the supposed extra work will set them up for failure, and they might lose their jobs. So, they are really angry not simply for work-load reasons but for job security reasons.

VALIDATE: Validate their anger. Their anger is real and important to them. It's who they perceive themselves to be (at the moment they feel angry) in their relationship with you. Many people embrace their anger. They may see it as the one thing that they can control in an environment in which they feel out of control. If you try to ignore that anger or belittle it, they will feel you are belittling them.

Tell them that you know they are angry and that you want to find out why. Avoid saying things like, "I know you're angry ... but ... " That "but" can harden them against you. Saying, "Help me understand why you feel angry about what I'm doing." can get you farther than the "but." This is not to condone their anger nor approve of it but simply to come to an agreement with them that it exists and that you intend to do something about it in a way that will be mutually beneficial.

TRANSLATE: Their anger is your opportunity, an opportunity to translate their anger into your results. Because, as you'll see, their anger can be great raw material for results.

People get angry for many reasons. * Their time is being wasted. * Their individual worth is not respected. * They feel threatened. * Their efforts are not appreciated. 5. They are not given voice or choice in their work. * Their values are not recognized or given credence. * Their leaders cannot do their jobs well. * Their leaders focus on their own needs. * Their leaders don't understand and acknowledge their needs. * Their leaders don't provide clear direction. * They are being overworked. 11. They are being set up to fail.

Here is a process for translating their anger into your results.

I call it the problem/solution/action process. The key to this process is that people's anger usually stems from an unresolved problem. A. With their help, identify the problem. B. Come to an agreement with them as to the causes of that problem. C. Help them find a solution. D. Challenge them to take action to solve the problem. E. Link that action to increases in results.

You can apply this process to any of the aforementioned reasons people get angry. As an example, let's apply it to the first reason. Often, a key challenge in getting others to take new action is their complaining you are wasting their time.

A. Draw up two lists, one composed of the aspects of their job they believe waste their time, and the other of the aspects they feel are crucial.

B. Come to an agreement with them on which aspects are truly a waste of their time and which aren't. Without such agreement, they may remain angry with you. For instance, they may feel that their having to complete a particular report or aspects of that report wastes their time. If you think that such reports are absolutely essential, you cannot continue this process unless you convince them that the reports are essential or that you will change them to make them essential.

C. Once you come to that agreement, work on each aspect in the "waste of time" list by applying this analytical tool: Decide if you want to leave it alone, change it, or eliminate it. There is no fourth choice!

D. If you have chosen to change it, have them suggest actions they will take to do so. Note the sequence here. Your first step in changing an aspect is to elicit from them what needs to be changed and the actions required to affect the change. If need be, you can always veto their choice. But if you first let them make that choice, you may find that they have delineated actions that tap a new vein of results. At the very least, they will be committed to those actions, since they go right to the heart of solving the problem of their anger.

E. Link those actions to increases in results. For instance, now that they have reduced, eliminated or changed a particular aspect of their job that was a problem for them, how will that translate into money saved/earned?

Be advised: You may be confronted by "professionally angry" people who will be angry and stay angry no matter what you do. Just being you or just being a leader or just being you as a leader gets them angry, and nothing you can do or say seems to change that. But keep working the four-step process. It's your best way of remedying even the "professionals" anger.